Let This Summer Be Different

why I take several weeks off in the summer, what waiting in the return line at Target taught me, and how our cultural values can shift for the better

To Be Delighted Again

My heart is calling me to take a break from all the noise –
all the distractions of modern life that leave a body, brain,
nervous system, and soul quite weary.

I need to be outside and breathe the mountain air.
I need to go on an adventure that replenishes my spirit
and nourishes my body.

I need to be in stillness –
under a tree, watching the way sunlight glistens off the field,
the way the clouds move slowly across the blue sky.

I need simple.
I need to hear the whisper of my own breath,
the wind, my ancestors, and my heart.

My soul needs to be delighted again.


Lisa McCrohan © 2021

Summer is here. At the beginning of any season, I love to take a moment and consider, “What do I want to experience this season?” And I feel into what my body and soul need.

Pause for a moment and ask yourself that question. What do you want to experience this summer?

For me this summer: fun, adventure, and closeness with the people I love.

I wrote the above poem, To Be Delighted Again, four years ago. I wrote it at about mid Spring of 2021 when my brain, body, nervous system, head, heart, and soul needed a break. I planned to take several weeks off that summer. I just had to. I set up plans with my clients ahead of time, and though I was nervous about how it would go for my clients, every single one of them was like “Take all the time you need – just come back!” And guess what? Everything worked out!

It is interesting that, in other cultures, taking such long stretches of time off is the norm, and yet here in the United States, it’s almost like a badge of honor for how much vacation time or PTO (personal leave time) you have saved up. That’s insane.

I work for myself so I don’t get paid PTO time, but still, I now take several weeks off every summer. It has actually encouraged many of my clients to consider the kinds of breaks they need – and what would delight them – mind, body, and spirt. Many have told me that it has encouraged them to consider what matters most to them and taking the time with their dear ones – or just themselves! – whether that be staying at home or going on adventures.

It's hard to live in a way that goes against the norm of the dominant culture – to value experiencing delight and beauty over producing and hustling and having “more,” to choose a simple life over a house filled with stuff, or to choose relationships over staying late at work.

What would shift in our American culture if our collective values shifted?!

The other day, I was standing in the “return” line at Target. There were two employees tending to the longish line. I watched as one employee left her cash register and go into the place where they keep “drive up orders.” As she was walking back to her register to continue tending to the long line of us standing there, she saw a fellow employee on her way out from working her shift. The two young women (or even teens?!) stopped and hugged each other and chatted for a moment.

Right there, where all the shopping carts are, where we all who were standing in the return line could see, where droves of people piled into the store – the two of them stood there for a moment chatting.

Now, at first I was like, “What the hell?! Come on, lady! I got things to do! Let’s go!”

But then as I stood there, I thought about this: first, seeing these two young people hug and be excited to see each other and to connect, it made me so happy. I see how anxious and lonely young people are these days. So any time two young people are connecting, in person, and happy – wouldn’t I want to encourage that?!

Second, I thought, “My impatience is a result of a culture that is always on the go and values productivity over connection. What if the cultural norm was valuing relationships – would I and all of us here be more understanding and even encouraging rather than annoyed and judgmental?”

This majorly challenged my Gen X nature! When we were young and just starting out in the work place, we felt lucky to have a job, we impeccably followed the rules, and we sacrificed ourselves for the demands of the work. There’s no way I would have ever stopped to talk with a fellow colleague and friend like that! But now, in midlife, so many of us Gen Xers are recovering from over giving, over sacrificing, over neglecting ourselves. We could learn something from this younger generation about self-honoring. Yes, I am aware, too, that the younger generation can go overboard on self-focus and need to also think of the community around them, but what I am saying here is that so many of us Gen Xers put others first for generations while neglecting ourselves, and now we are tired and drained, and we need a big “rebalancing” of how much we give to the world.

The two young people talked for less than a minute, I bet, but I could tell that it did something for both of them. Then the employee returned to her register and began calling the next person in line.

It didn’t ruin our day. It didn’t make us overly late. It didn’t majorly disrupt our plans. Instead, it gave two young people a moment of connection that seemed to delight both of them! And I imagine, it nourished them for the rest of the day.

Wouldn’t we want that?! For ourselves and for the world? I want to help support a world where compassion and understanding are more prevalent than judgment and criticism. I want to help create a world where connections matter more than constantly producing.

I believe that this is how we make shifts in our world. If we want less lonely people, less young anxious people, and less individual and mass violence, we need to start with what we choose to value – even in the Target return line.

So I waited and watched as my Gen X tendencies started to unwind.

What does this have to do with being delighted again and how you want to feel this summer?

Every single person who I have ever worked with in therapy or coaching has longed for some form of this:

To feel more connected.
To be able to rest.
To reclaim their joy.
To feel delight again.

And I believe that’s not a luxury. It’s not frivolous. It’s necessary. Because delight opens our hearts and it brings us back to life.

So maybe this summer is your invitation to listen to what your soul is asking for. To allow yourself moments of beauty, presence, and connection. To pause, even when the line is long. To choose a way of being that nourishes rather than depletes.

Ask yourself again:
What do I want to experience this summer?
Let that question linger.
Let it guide your days – even your long line wait times at Target, in the airport, or on the road. Look for what delights you. Make space for creating moments of connection.

May delight find you — again and again and again.